A writer who doesn't want to be published (anymore)

[analogbasilisk]

I started writing in 2009 and up until 2019, I wanted to be published. Really, I'd try to query and things like that. I have four or so books published via Kindle and everything. Then I realised I don't have the money to make it happen and I don't write fast enough to spit whatever is extremely popular at the moment to gain traction like that.

I still write and I love it. I like sharing it, I like when people read and tell me they like it. I know I am, at least, a decent writer.

I struggle connecting to other writers exactly because I don't want to be published and get annoyed with how that's the topic of discussion a lot of the time. (It's less about people taking about their dreams and more about not feeling like I belong in a community of writers.)

I often try to give up writing altogether, but it's a hobby I really love, a passion if you say.

Comments

[f0rrest]

I haven't attempted to get published, but I have thought about it, and my motivation is somewhat similar to yours, in that I like positive feedback, so I can definitely relate with what you're saying.

I wrote an entry on this similar topic just a few days ago, and have written about this before, but, ultimately, I think, if your only goal is to get published, you're sacrificing your art for money and/or adoration, which can result in something not entirely true to you, which, to me, is an important aspect of your work to peserve entirely, stay pure.

[analogbasilisk]

I'm glad you get it. I posted this on Reddit too and many people sounded personally offended by this.

I'll check it. I see people saying "you should write for yourself" and then all they talk about is publishing and selling. I don't think these people care about the art part at all.

Thoughts

[ysabetwordsmith]

It's totally fine to write for fun instead of for money. Lots of people do it.

I've done traditional publishing, and still do a bit of that. But mostly nowadays I do crowdfunding because the conventional system is just such a kludge. Also it's currently putting out crap. I'm an editor, so I can say that as a professional declaration.

Where I'm seeing the best content is:
* Kickstarter
* Fanfic
* Hobby writers on Dreamwidth or other host sites
* Author sites.

Re: Thoughts

[analogbasilisk]

Yeah. And I think it's weird how people act as if writing is only valid and valuable if you're published (and even self-published, it must be locked behind a paywall).
I've considered crowdfunding, but never gathered following enough for that.
I have a theory of why people find better content out of fanfic and hobby writers, but it always sounds mean.

Re: Thoughts

[ysabetwordsmith]

>> Yeah. And I think it's weird how people act as if writing is only valid and valuable if you're published <<

I agree it's weird. But then most people don't think about writing or art, and why humans do them. There are myriad reasons, and most of them are valid. You can create things for fun, for money, for self-expression, to join a group, to explore an idea, to explore a medium, to communicate, to leave a mark, and so on.

I do enjoy many of those things, but as a worldwalker, two of my additional reasons are 1) to spend time in worlds that are not on fire, so this one doesn't drive me completely crazy, and 2) to mine the better worlds for good ideas that can be replicated here with extant resources.

>> (and even self-published, it must be locked behind a paywall).<<

I find that to be the opposite of helpful. One of the interesting and somewhat counterintuitive things I've learned about crowdfunding is that the best way to hook people into a new series is to release the first one free. And all my published crowdfunding is free for everyone to read, which means people can get a great sense of my work before buying anything. As a result, I have a solid handful of hobby-editors who buy things they want to exist, and I've had more than one series that was basically one person's hobby before other folks got involved.

>> I've considered crowdfunding, but never gathered following enough for that. <<

You don't necessarily need a large following, especially if money is not your primary motivation. A handful of people who really like your work may be enough. But when it comes to money? I've made more from crowdfunding than from conventional publishing.

No guessing! I set a theme, people tell me what I want, I write the things, I post one for free in thanks for the inspiration, I thumbnail and price the rest, and patrons buy what they want.

No waiting! Well, minimal waiting while I write the things. But I don't have to wait on the mail, and my audience doesn't have to wait for some editor to like a thing. Write, thumbnail, sponsor, post, read!

This leads to vastly more throughput.

>> I have a theory of why people find better content out of fanfic and hobby writers, but it always sounds mean. <<

After several rounds of the universe having a kernel panic attack because I went into a bookstore and found nothing I wanted, I had to reorganize my search strategy to start in the magazines, which usually do still have at least one thing worth buying. I think we're at the point where discussions of "What the buggering fuck were you thinking?" are justified.

Re: Thoughts

[analogbasilisk]

People don't. I don't mind. What bothers me is that it's like I'm the weird one when I say I write because I like and I share it just because I want to. I made this post on Reddit too, you'd think I said "you're not a real writer if you want to be published" with how come comments were negative towards me. I mean, rationally I know most writers like writing. But seeing them? Feels like their only goal is to publish and sell. If they're not talking about getting published, they're talking about their sell numbers.

The people crawling on my feed equate free content with not real content. Or, at least, as less worth taking a look. I want people to see my stuff, but after all this time, I mostly gave up. It exists, if you happen to find it, good.

I think I have a Patreon account, and I have a Ko-fi. But like, if I can't get people checking it when it's everything 100% free, I don't think I can do the crowdfunding thing. Nowadays I know it's not even a quality thing, I'm not really a bad writer, it's just not interesting enough or something like that. Maybe it's too self-indulgent, a niche thing that barely anyone would even take a look. It doesn't mean I never had feedback saying they love it, it just means it's not sellable.

Money wouldn't be the main goal, but I would get way too upset with failure and I'm always on the edge of giving up writing altogether, deleting everything (the actual writing and my accounts across social media).

I haven't read a new novel in years, the last time I had money to buy a book was back in 2019. I read fanfics and original fiction I find online. Lots of published content that I come across aren't my cup of tea.