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I started writing in 2009 and up until 2019, I wanted to be published. Really, I'd try to query and things like that. I have four or so books published via Kindle and everything. Then I realised I don't have the money to make it happen and I don't write fast enough to spit whatever is extremely popular at the moment to gain traction like that.
I still write and I love it. I like sharing it, I like when people read and tell me they like it. I know I am, at least, a decent writer.
I struggle connecting to other writers exactly because I don't want to be published and get annoyed with how that's the topic of discussion a lot of the time. (It's less about people taking about their dreams and more about not feeling like I belong in a community of writers.)
I often try to give up writing altogether, but it's a hobby I really love, a passion if you say.
I still write and I love it. I like sharing it, I like when people read and tell me they like it. I know I am, at least, a decent writer.
I struggle connecting to other writers exactly because I don't want to be published and get annoyed with how that's the topic of discussion a lot of the time. (It's less about people taking about their dreams and more about not feeling like I belong in a community of writers.)
I often try to give up writing altogether, but it's a hobby I really love, a passion if you say.
Re: Thoughts
Date: 2025-07-19 09:14 pm (UTC)People don't. I don't mind. What bothers me is that it's like I'm the weird one when I say I write because I like and I share it just because I want to. I made this post on Reddit too, you'd think I said "you're not a real writer if you want to be published" with how come comments were negative towards me. I mean, rationally I know most writers like writing. But seeing them? Feels like their only goal is to publish and sell. If they're not talking about getting published, they're talking about their sell numbers.
The people crawling on my feed equate free content with not real content. Or, at least, as less worth taking a look. I want people to see my stuff, but after all this time, I mostly gave up. It exists, if you happen to find it, good.
I think I have a Patreon account, and I have a Ko-fi. But like, if I can't get people checking it when it's everything 100% free, I don't think I can do the crowdfunding thing. Nowadays I know it's not even a quality thing, I'm not really a bad writer, it's just not interesting enough or something like that. Maybe it's too self-indulgent, a niche thing that barely anyone would even take a look. It doesn't mean I never had feedback saying they love it, it just means it's not sellable.
Money wouldn't be the main goal, but I would get way too upset with failure and I'm always on the edge of giving up writing altogether, deleting everything (the actual writing and my accounts across social media).
I haven't read a new novel in years, the last time I had money to buy a book was back in 2019. I read fanfics and original fiction I find online. Lots of published content that I come across aren't my cup of tea.